What I think was the reason we could't work

Before I met Sam I had no problems paying my bills and taking care of daycare and everything else related to providing for my kids.

Shortly after getting with Sam, I started putting more money than I could afford into playing online poker. I spent so much money playing poker online that I wasn't able to pay my bills, or even my mortgage.

For some reason, I had found the woman that I knew I wanted to grow old with, and at the same time I began sabotaging my life.

I had only ever lied about, and kept secret, one thing prior to meeting Sam. And for some reason , after getting with her I found being dishonest easy.

I now know why I treated her the way I did.

I was betrayed in the worst way possible by a woman that Ithought I loved. I didn't get over it, and I let it fester.

I also think that Sam fell for me so fast because of the betrayal that she had recently gone through.

In short, I think that we both were needing love. We found, and gave, all that we had too soon. Later, we dealt with the fact that that we had made that connection too soon. Sam got distant, and found solice in spending time with Jeremy and smoking. I dealt with it by drinking.

We both needed to recover from a bad relationship. Unfortunately, we found solace in each other, but we found it before either of us were prepared to be ready for a new beginning.

I was wrong, but what Sam's part was.

Early on in our relationship Sam told me that she didn't want to have sex with Gary, and instead she would give him blow jobs.

Towards the end of our releationship, we rarely had sex. Sam offered to give me head almost daily. After a few months of this, I remembered that she had said that she didn't like to have sex with Gary, and that to please him she would give him blow jobs. At the same time I realized this, I realized several other things.

Sam was just putting in the work for our relationshiop. She is a pleaser, and she did all of the perfect things to make her come out in the best light. But I don't beleive that she loved me for me, but just did what she felt would make her look like she was doing the right thing.